The Monday After

Its been one week since Princess passed away.  Although I am less emotional, I am still profoundly saddened.  I’m taking it day by day, and I feel as if things are getting better for me, but at the same time, a part of me feels guilty for feeling better.  I feel as if I owe it to Princess and Jenna to mourn and feel sad bit longer than just a week.

Looking at old pictures and videos helps.  It reminds me of all of the good times we had, without otherwise, I would have probably forgotten.  The trips to the mountains, the onsens, to Chiba, and the trip to Okinawa right before Haruka was born.  I just wished I could have done more and taken them more places, especially towards the end

Yesterday, I took Haru to her weekly gymnastics lesson.  I had promised her a week earlier that I would rent some movies for her on the way home, so we stopped of at the DVD rental shop and picked out some movies.  The hole time she was looking for a movie to watch, I kept looking at the clock on the wall by habit.  It use to be that every time we leave the house I would have to always be aware of the time because of Princess’s hypoglycemia.  If unattended to too long, she would have a seizure, so it would be my job to be the time keeper.  Now that she’s gone, I don’t have to do this anymore and yet I still do.  I just wish I could just finally move on and not think of them so much.

While looking at old photos of Princess and Jenna, it reminded me of all the times we use to get together with other westie owners.  Princess and Jenna loved playing with other dogs, especially other westies, and this was a very happy time for them.  It made me wonder what happened to the other dogs, so I looked them up and have found that most of them have passed away too.  But during my search, I found that one of the westies named Wing, who amazingly was Princess and Jenna’s cousin, had just passed away just last year.  Wing was born in 1995 which made her just over 18 years old when she died.  Wing was one of my favorites, because she had this amazingly long tail that was trimmed in a shape of a feather or wing.  Looks-wise, she looked like a cross between Princess and Jenna, and there was definitely a family resemblance.  I visited Wing’s homepage last night where there were even a few photos of Princess and Jenna, and I could tell that she was deeply cherished as well.  It makes me wonder if Wing’s owners felt as sad as I do when she passed.  I wonder if they recovered or are they also still in mourning -after all 18 years is a very long time.

September 13th and 14th will forever be etched in my memory as one of the saddest days of my life.  If only they had lived one more month, we could have had a huge celebration to mark their sweet 16th birthday, which I had been planning.  But never the less, I will celebrate their birthday anyway, complete with cake, candles and birthday wishes to thank them for being such great companions.

 

These are some rare photos that I haven’t even seen, taken from Wing’s homepage.

 

 

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