The Pacifier Pacifist


Haruka’s continuous crying has been extremely difficult on the nerves.  It is believed that babies who have chronic colic can cause neurosis in new parents.  As a result, many babies suffer from SBS (Shaken Baby Syndrome), from parents who sometimes resort to an act of unintentional violence againts an infant in an effort to quiet them.  Sadly, this can ultimately resort in severe brain damage, and sometimes even in death.

Admittedly, there were times where Haruka’s crying got so disturbingly bad, it really got on my nerves to the point where I wanted to put her in a closet somewhere until she stopped crying (of course, I’ve never done this, and never will).   I know that she has no control over this, nor does she mean to make anyone upset. But there were times when things got pretty desparate.  I think the worse thing I’ve done so far was to leave her crying in her crib for over an hour.  I felt really bad about this, but later I learned that this is quite acceptable when dealing with babies with chronic colic.  It doesn’t feel right, and it seems like a form of abuse in itself, but in reality its a way to cool down so that you don’t unintentially do the wrong thing.

One choice which I have contunally avoided resorting to, is using pacifiers.  I have a good reason for this which many people don’t quite understand.  Basically I see way too many babies children who use pacifiers well past the age of 2.   This, of course is in no way the baby’s fault, but rather the parent’s fault for over-using a pacifier to hush the child for their own convenience.  Everytime the child cries (for any reason), rather than trying to find the cause for the crying, some parents tend to shove a pacifier in their mouths just to shut them up. What they fail to understand is that most babies cry for a reason, and that reason should be addressed.  In turn, the child becomes somewhat emotionally addicted to the pacifier, which eventually becomes the only way to soothe them.  Even Harvey Karp, MD stated that the use of pacifiers should only done properly, which is NOT when the baby was crying. Most parents tend to use a pacifier to quiet a crying baby, when they should only really be used to soothe a baby who has stopped crying.  Karp also went on to state that a pacifier should be removed after the baby is asleep, and useage should be weaned off by 5 months of age.  I see a lot of parents who do none of these things.

For this reason, I have decided that pacifiers aren’t really to satisfy the baby’s needs, but rather a tool for the parent who can’t be bothered with the extra effort of soothing by other means. Of course this is merely my own opinion.

But having said all this,  I believe that Haruka’s crying has died down considerably lately.  As a matter of fact, it has gotten to the point when we can predict when she will cry (without a reason) because its usually the same time everyday, aside from the usual change me, feed me cries. 

Soothing her still remains the challenge.  While one method might work one day, it may or may not necessarily work the next day, or ever work again for that matter.  But we usually go down the usual list of soothing methods, and one of the methods usually will work.  And if none of them work (which is getting quite rare these days) she’ll sometimes just fall of asleep on her own.

Another picture from yesterday’s visit to the doctor’s office 

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